Recently, my wife, 7 year old daughter and I decided that since it was such a beautiful, cool, and slightly breezy evening that we would take a blanket outside, spread it out on the lawn with some refreshments, and enjoy the evening reading books.
I grabbed a book that I had wanted to finish for a while, strapped on my seatbelt as it were, and got ready for some serious, uninterrupted reading.
Except there was one little problem…
My wife and daughter grabbed a book they “said” they were going to read together. And for the next hour and a half that we spent on the lawn, they were both up and down, in and out of the house, giggling, laughing, playing, getting this, getting that, teasing each other, and in general, fooling around. If doubt they read 10 lines of text the whole time.
Now on my end, I’m wanting to read my book and so I found myself starting to feel a little bit aggravated. My focus was on reading and anything that interrupted me or distracted me from my reading was a nuisance and an irritant.
In fact, I went so far as to say to them, “You girls aren’t getting much reading done are you?”
It was their look of puzzlement, that look at me as if I was from outer-space or some foreign place that caused me to remember that which I already knew…
Females are focused on relating. And anything that interrupts them or distracts them from their relating is a nuisance and an irritant.
And therein lies the “rub”. Men are focused on the “doing” while the women are focused on “connecting”.
So how do you improve your relationship with your wife?
Of course, there are many answers to this question, but pertaining to this article, the way to improve your relationship with your wife is to force yourself to set aside whatever it is that you are “doing”.
Totally forget about “doing” anything and instead focus on the “connecting” and “relating” that she’s wanting.
Realize that whatever the “doing” part is supposed to be is really nothing more than a platform upon which she wants to “connect” and “relate”.
But be warned, if you take time “connect” and “relate” to and with her, she might end up “doing” you if you get my drift…
Happily, that’s exactly what happened to me.